@OfficeofSteve: when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa..
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@Token_Geezer: When I'm in a room full of toddlers, I can't help but scan it for potential serial killers
@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to political bumper stickers, changing nobody's mind and lowering the value of your car and whatnot.
@briangaar: Whenever people are like "We need to restore traditional values to this country" I assume they mean slavery and burning witches at the stake