@OfficeofSteve: when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa..
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@blopt: My parents are middle aged. "Mine are to-" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] "CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"
@brianbowman73: I heard you like bad boys? *jumps in pool after eating without waiting an hour* Sup.
@junejuly12: Tall, fit, great hair, dazzling smile, good with kids, excellent swordsman, right-handed. ~ Captain Hook's Tinder profile ~