@OfficeofSteve: when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa..
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@longwall26: *Paul Ryan watches a children's hospital explode* Hhhhmmm, an affordable source of heat and light
@MiahSaint: This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and number of friends.
@iwearaonesie: *wife comes out in a robe* I'm hiding your present Yes it's wrapped Nooo, it's not in the fridge [5 minutes later] IT'S NOT IN THE FRIDGE!