@joeljeffrey: When I'm at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend
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@Underchilde: Unless it’s that scary chick from The Ring, I really don’t care who is in the restroom with me.
@AimeeHelene1: Him: *looking at 6 empty paper towel rolls, maple syrup, spoons, and a tennis racket on the floor* What happened?! Me: There was a spider.
@SortaBad: Workin hard. Putting my nose to the grindstone. Grinding away that nose. Barely any nose left now. Whole face messed up. Due for a promotion