@joeljeffrey: When I'm at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend
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@ozzyunc: "I want to get drunk in public." "Me too but on pancake batter." "If only there was a way to solve both problems." -The Origin of Eggnog
@timdonakowski: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish in highly-contaminated water, feed him for a day.
@ericsshadow: THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women.
@shadygrenade: "30 shots of espresso NOW." *barista's eyes widen* Whoa what do you do for a living? "I STAY AWAKE FOR A LIVING!" *roundhouse kicks barista*