@astutenewf: When I'm bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: When I die, just throw the laundry in my grave with me. I want to die exactly as I lived.
@Ygrene: Me: I'm nervous about mingling at the party Wife: Just talk about stuff anyone can relate to [Party] Me: HI I UNDERSTAND YOU TOO ARE HUMAN
@lcwf70: You said imagine my life without you... So I closed my eyes & am on a beach with a man who knows how to change a toilet paper roll.