@Ohgoddessitsme: When I'm driving I listen to the country station because it makes me want to get to my destination faster.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DukEB51: You know you're getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
@causticbob: Be careful when online dating, if someone describes themselves as outdoorsy, they might just be homeless.
@AristotlesNZ: Cop: "You been drinkin?" Me: I'm going to dinner w/my wife's mom & 94yo granny "You're free to go.." Come on dude. Can't you just arrest me?
@yoyoha: I bet Hannibal Lecter was pretty disappointed when he found out a five finger discount had nothing to do with purchasing fingers.