@Ghetto_Trophy: When I'm feeling inadequate, I remember that there are women who marry their prison pen pals, and then my own decisions don't seem so bad.
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@Ideal_Victoria: Guys love it when you rest your head on their shoulder at the movie theatre. Their girlfriends however... not so much.
@dlockw21: IT: You deleted the OS? Me: I think so. IT: It didn't warn you? Me: Yeah, but it only kinda warned me. What's with the inquisition bro?
@juicymorsel: Pretending you're dead to avoid conversation in the hospital is the worst way to learn how a defibrillator works.
@Schmoodles: Someone at work asked if I'd listened to any good books lately, and now I've got a body to dispose of. :(