@Ghetto_Trophy: When I'm feeling inadequate, I remember that there are women who marry their prison pen pals, and then my own decisions don't seem so bad.
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@Loli_Sug: Me: k well my phones gonna die so I'll ttyl Mom: But ur office is a landline? Me: oh...so it is....K well the building is on fire, sooo ttyl
@topaz_kell: And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.
@Book_Krazy: *Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* "yeah, you'll be back.”
@HughGoesThere: [bedtime] Me: What’s in vegetable oil? Daughter: Vegetables M: And olive oil? D: Olives M: And baby oil? D: *I turn out the lights and leave