@KyleMcDowell86: When I'm in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they're safe
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@Dwarven_Cleric: After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm.
@lisaxy424: 4th grade student: How old are you? Me: Quite a bit older than you. Student: So like 23? Me: Deal. Tell all your friends.
@kirstiealley: I thought I found a baby owl today that needed help. He was an adult pigmy owl who let me pick him up then clawed and bit me. He is free now
@AtticusFinch79: [on the train] Conductor: Ticket please Me: *hands it over* C: Lady this is a speeding ticket M: *sighs* That's why I'm on the train