@AndrewNadeau0: GENIE:3 wishes ME:Can I wish for more? G:No M:I wish u couldn’t count G:Done. How many do u have left? M:A billion G: M: G:That sounds right

@daplusk: Sometimes late at night in bed i wonder what life choices do i have to make to be the guy who says 'yeah' in the background of hip hop songs

@AndrewNadeau0: WRITER: It's a kids movie about a woman trying to kill & skin a puppy. PRODUCER: That's horrific! W: What if it was 101 puppies? P:…Go on

@PuncherJetpack: Not saying obamacare is perfect but the data doesn't lie. With Obamacare there've been zero Hitlers. Before obamacare there was at least one

@fightforfood: [dentist's full hand and wrist in my mouth, also his keys?] so u visited Spain u said? tell me. tell me every goddamn detail about Spain