@Stellacopter: When I'm out with my kids and I see an x-boyfriend I like to scare him by saying "Don't make eye contact with daddy."
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@Ivsy01: If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you.
@MiniiG: If you complain about not being able to find your boyfriends name on a keychain that store will think you have a boyfriend
@WildeThingy: [dog social media] Post: *picture of a cat falling out of a tree* caption - "woof, woof, woof." Dog reading: hahahahahaha. *retwoofs*
@CauseWereGuys: Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri "What do women want?" She has been talking nonstop for the last two days.