@IMBeanz: When I'm really bored at work I like to write "I'm watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
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@MooseAllain: Enter a cafe. Ask to see the menu. Say, Have you got anything a mouse would like? When they say No, whisper into your sleeve & leave.
@Smooheed: When I'm pushing the twins in the pram and someone asks me if they're mine I say 'no, they're for my collection' and run as fast as I can
@IamEnidColeslaw: HEY. Our ancestors didn't eat brunch. They ate rocks. And fought dinosaurs. Ever heard of fire? They INVENTED it. Enjoy your Bloody Mary.
@Vodkantots: So do people not like it when you tell them they could totally do better after meeting their spouse? Flattery is hard.