@tarashoe: when i'm stressed i close my eyes and imagine i'm on a beach, neurotically pacing back & forth within a very small section of that beach
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@iwearpajamas: My girlfriend talks to her dog like it's going to talk back. Kind of like when Christians talk to God.
@Bexdora: In every teen body-swap film there's that moment where they look in the mirror & are shocked to see an adult. That's my morning routine now.
@realHamOnWry: Twitter is considering a 10,000-character limit for tweets. Well, there goes the neighborhood.
@Smug_Lemur: Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.