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@Stand_Up_Shots: "When it comes to racism..."
@robcorddry: Batman's an example of a guy who took his parents double homicide and made lemonade
@scorpicpanda: Actually, letting your dog run around the yard while wearing your Fitbit increases the numbers waaaaay better than putting it on your cat.
@MarkAgee: STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME
- Yay I get to work from home
- It would be nice to talk to people
- I hope that pigeon sits in the window today
@JPHaddadio: Don't you hate when you take a power nap and wake up 22 hours later and everybody at work is staring at you?
@Jez1: You text him, he doesn't text you back. Obviously he was so excited that you texted that he fainted.