@ibid78: When life hands you lemons make sure those lemons aren't evidence in a murder that life's trying to frame you for.
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@LackOfShame: Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company
@tastefactory: *cop sees chalk outline on family's driveway* "Damn, a cute bunny was murdered" "No, the kids who live here drew that, the body's over here"