@ibid78: When life hands you lemons make sure those lemons aren't evidence in a murder that life's trying to frame you for.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: What happens if I throw up in the red shoe bin by the door? Me: Why is your question alarmingly specific? 4: No reason.
@Manali_Shetye5: Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?
@squirrel74wkgn: *pounding on her chest* DON'T DIE ON ME KAREN! *pounds harder* (sobbing) BREATHE DAMMIT! CPR instructor: Ok, so that was wrong.