@ibid78: When life hands you lemons make sure those lemons aren't evidence in a murder that life's trying to frame you for.
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@mattZillaaaa: Everyone on Instagram has pics of them at places all over the world & I'm like here's another shot of me from a different angle on my sofa
@LaziestCanine: Cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you Me: yes, he was not very friendly
@pplwtching: Ever notice you can hardly touch something that just came off a grill, but yet a fly can land on that MFer like its room temperature?