@Carbosly: When my boss asks me if I can "take a stab at this", I always hope she'll point to that coworker we all hate.
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@sofarrsogud: My wife carved 'I'M FINE' into a pumpkin especially for me So she's obviously cool with me watching football all day and breathing an stuff
@Andee_Stewart: I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing
@Home_Halfway: I like to go to my local diner and order pancakes "on the rocks." They don't know what I mean. Neither do I. They hate it when I come in
@SoulYodeler: I can see clearly now the rain has gone; I can *backs into mailbox* see all obstacles in my way *runs over squirrel* omg I love this song