@TweetingDadGuy: When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KalvinMacleod: VILLIAN: all this money is mine BANK TELLER: help us Velcroman, he’s getting away VELCROMAN: *stuck to the floor* who puts carpet in a bank?
@SirEviscerate: How to lose 12 lbs in 7 agonizing seconds: Step 1: Make sure the wood chipper is all gassed up.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Time for bed Brain: Ok Brain: PSST. EVER WONDER IF EARTH'S TECTONIC PLATES WON'T BE ABLE TO SUPPORT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ON EARTH?!