@TweetingDadGuy: When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter.
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@AimeeHelene1: Wait, what's that noise? Is there a dying cat outside? Oh...no...it's just a 50 yr old man racing a remote control car down the road.
@kashanacauley: People outside of NYC: TERRORISM!!!!! New Yorkers: Dude’s a loser with a crappy bomb who’s crowning life achievement is making my train 36 minutes late.