@TweetingDadGuy: When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter.
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@NikiWithIssues: I'm not hungover. I just like to wear my sunglasses when I open the fridge door. It makes me look cool.
@Home_Halfway: Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him.
@TheThomason: New Joker looks like he has the Memento disease and needs a bunch of tattoos to remind him he's the Joker.
@pharmasean: Good thing most planes have TVs. Nothings worse than having to look out the window at Earths sacred majesty from the point of view of angels