@TweetingDadGuy: When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter.
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@ValeeGrrl: Capture a raccoon & an octopus. Sit them on the couch. Give them snacks. Sit between them. Turn on the TV. Now you're ready to have kids.
@dreamthievin: A small part of me is filled with self-loathing for how much pizza I can eat in one sitting. The rest of me is filled with pizza.
@TrainedHedonist: Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine.
@keyblur_justin: I was going to have sex with you, but you asked what Mario Kart was and wore pants inside the pillow fort....I'm just kidding. I don't care.