@SamuelHLowe: When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
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@TheChalls: Hey Joe, don't think we can use this ad. Why not? We're roofers. Yes, but "Hot shingles in your area looking to get nailed" seems extreme.
@iamspacegirl: FISHING TRIP Joseph *casting his line*: Son, your mother thinks it's time I tell you- You're agodpted. Jesus *runs across the lake crying*
@BendyBacon: Grammar Tip: When the zombie apocalypse starts I will be using people who write 'would of' instead of 'would have' as human shields.