@galiamango: When my phone rings, I stay very, very still. If I don't move, it can't see me.
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@BeardSpice: *walks into bank* THIS IS A ROBBERY *people drop to the floor* JUST KIDDING, BUT NOW THAT YOU'RE LISTENING *lowers guns* A TOMATO IS A FRUIT
@Adam_Kingsnorth: Why do they say "character actress"? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture?
@joeldanger: Sending an insult with a typo is like laughing at someone for tripping and falling and then tripping and falling right front of them.
@AngelaEhh: Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.