@pecan_pie_1: When my toddlers are teenagers I'm going to wake them up in the middle of the night to tell them I'm thirsty
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@GensPlace: I'm not sure about accusing someone of wanting to get into my pants. I'd like to see him try. I can hardly get into them myself..
@UncleDuke1969: [furniture store] Wife: We're putting in a bar. Salesman: OK Wife: And... S: Yes? W: Go ahead, say it. Me: WE'RE GONNA NEED A STOOL SAMPLE.
@jessienope: religious? why yes i'm very religious, i'm always reading [glances at bible] the beeblay