@simoncholland: When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.
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@SuperJuanderer: If a spider attacks you, you should play dead. No, wait... that's for a bear. If a spider attacks a bear, you should play dead.
@kamtweeting: Give me a few strong men, and I'll build a nation. Give me a few hot women, and I'll conquer the world.
@davedittell: we need a cold and annoying genius type, who should we cast? [Benedict Cumberbatch claws at the office window] hmmm who to cast? [he meows]