@mommy_cusses: When one door opens, another one opens, and then another, and another. Because kids.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@weinerdog4life: Justin Beiber has 23 million followers and I just got unfollowed by a horse magazine.
@KevinFarzad: People are often shocked when I tell them I'm single because I scream it at them while sliding open their shower curtain.
@FilthyRichmond: People are so nosy, always asking me what I just injected into their neck. Don't worry about it!