@mommy_cusses: When one door opens, another one opens, and then another, and another. Because kids.
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@jngraphs: Wife: Where are you going? Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got? Five?
@fillthevacuum: I just found that there's such a thing as a cheese shop and now I'm changing my vacation plans.
@SweetTweetsBRO: I used to be a people person, but apparently collecting people in your basement is frowned upon.
@flashember: [Zoo, bird show] "Millions of years of evolution have made these ancient raptors into graceful sky gods." *bird headbutts window 50 times*