@nealbrennan: When people are trending on twitter, I know that they died or said something racist.
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@Yair_Rosenberg: Twitter makes possible so many amazing things we couldn't do before. Like trolling the Nazis:
@Smooheed: If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
@AnOrangeSNES: [Restaurant] Waiter: Compliments of the chef. *He opens silver platter and post-it notes with the words 'You're beautiful' pour out*