@Harpers_Halo: When people say they did something "like a boss" I just picture them doing it fatter and with less hair
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@SamGrittner: POLICE OFFICER: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" ME: "Because you know I love riddles."
@adamlucidi: The How I Met Your Mother series will end tonight & everyone is thinking the same thing...if only it were The Big Bang Theory instead.
@That_Damn_Duck: *Watching YouTube videos* Boss: What are you watching? Me: .... Boss: ... Me: Church? Boss: That's a dog on a unicycle. Me: Praise The Lord!
@HpHubert: Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?