@lucascomedian: When pigs fly they will have the most delicious wings.
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@TheMichaelRock: What's up with these people in Pakistan getting stoned to death? What kind of weed are they growing there?
@mugkip: there is no need for awkward apologies if you walk in on someone and they're naked, just say "haha saw your doodle" and walk off. simples
@P1ssed_K1d: My ex-girlfriend had weekly lessons with the devil on how to become more evil. I still don't know how much she charges him though
@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Why did you call off yesterday? Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.