@TheGladStork: When rapping in my car, I hold my phone to my ear so passersby think I'm on an intense business call.
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@UnderTheJewFro: If someone ever challenges you to a fight, pull your pants off and chase them crotch first. I'm currently undefeated with this method.
@ojedge: Van Gogh: "Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today." Gauguin: "Pics, or it didn't happen." [van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]
@PetrickSara: Them: children are innocent and go to heaven Me: so you're saying Hell is child free?