@TheGladStork: When rapping in my car, I hold my phone to my ear so passersby think I'm on an intense business call.
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@DanMentos: [at dentist] so your X-rays look grea- *phone rings* hold on *on phone* a new engine? jesus, ok so as I was saying you have several cavities
@lazerdoov: I hope my boss asks me to draw a bunch of cats wearing top hats today cause then I'll already be done my work and I can leave early
@yoopnative: I'm broke but not "vacuums the air filter* instead of replacing it" broke. *more than twice.
@PinkCamoTO: H: So what's the worst thing you've ever seen someone do? Me: I watched a mother buy her son a harmonica.