@GrantTanaka: When someone asks me how my day is, I like to say "Still kinda pissed about Hiroshima," & then start swearing in Japanese.
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@AmishPornStar1: Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
@loribuckmajor: After exercising and eating right all week on Saturday I'm like the Kool-Aid man running into Chipotle.
@AmishPornStar1: I bet the first guy who threw shit into a fan never knew what an incredible legacy he would leave.
@jaslakhmna: While people argue about the glass being half empty or half full...I'll just be drinking from the bottle !