@MissyBell71: When someone asks me, "Is this seat saved?" I like to say "No, but we're still praying for it" and I laugh because chairs are like, dead.
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@EBenita0517: You didn't question the free nachos or the ride in the van. But now that I've got a knife to your throat you're all "why, why?"
@walks_on_legs: Interview tip: maintain eye contact. If they try to look at documents, put your head between them and the documents.
@_troyjohnson: Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home.