@ericsshadow: When someone in their 20's talks about "old people" they're talking about us.
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@joeljeffrey: Bands who can't afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
@rolldiggity: INTERVIEWER: "How would you describe yourself?" ME: "Verbally, but I've also prepared a dance."
@Ditchful: adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane
@RoosterMustache: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like "hey thanks" and I'm like "I'm just happy to be a part of this nice community"