@Just_Lee_: When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
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@Sickayduh: BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you... IS AN OWL ME: Who? *everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180°*
@simoncholland: Accidentally feng shui'd tonight when everybody wang chunged and I've never been more embarrassed. That lamp does look great there though.
@sixfootcandy: Insurance company: We need you to fax us the paperwork. Me: Sure. Let me jump in my DeLorean and drive back to 1987.