@bridger_w: When someone says, "I haven't seen you in forever," a fun response is, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"
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@withanewname: Wife: "Bad day?" Me: "Stupidhead boss treats me like a kid." Wife: "Now now *pats head* eat your nuggets before they get cold."
@TheBoydP: If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazine for the articles?
@darksideang: My husband gets so cranky when I come home from the pool with only a fraction of the kids I left with