@Josievorenkamp: When someone starts a Facebook post with "there are no words..." You better get prepared because you're about to read a lot of words.
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@: Ikea meatballs pulled from shelves because they contain horse meat. Man, that's the last time I buy meatballs at a furniture store.
@Tups13: "Of course you can trust me. Look, I'll prove it. Close your eyes and fall backwards. I'll catch you." *Bing! Twitter notification!* Thud.
@Jerk_Martin: Me flirting at a party me: so what's your major her: radiology me: oh cool AM or FM?
@envydatropic: Indoor water parks full of kids in diapers for when you want to catch a case of name that bacterial infection