@ITomHorvat: When someone starts making fun of my air guitar skills I just whip out my finger pistols and it usually shuts them right up.
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@Brentweets: If you can't handle me at my worst that makes sense and I'm sorry for setting your house on fire.
@astonoha: I'm NOT ashamed of my body. I worked hard for athletic build, healthy brown hair, 4 gorgeous legs, strong neck, big wet nose, clip clop feet
@animadvertguy: [Sky-diving] INSTRUCTOR: pull your shute! ME: my shoe? INSTRUCTOR: your parachute! ME: my pair of shoes? [later] CORONER: where's his shoes?
@Hormonella: Wish I could focus on anything with even half the intensity of my dog watching me eat yogurt.