@gtfml: When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask "Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?" because you can never be too careful.
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@kelkulus: Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
@AndrewNadeau0: SHAKESPEARE: Brevity is the soul of wit. ME: *Shows him twitter* SHAKESPEARE: Okay, well, no, obviously not like that.
@fro_vo: Me: why does the ARMy use FOOT soldiers for HAND to HAND combat lol Pentagon: he's getting too close
@patnspankme: People who have to keep a phone charger in the bathroom; have you heard of shredded wheat and raisin bran?