@gtfml: When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask "Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?" because you can never be too careful.
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@lovemyboots111: Ladies, if your man says he'll fix it, he will. There's no reason to remind him every 6 months.
@Jeffwni: Son: DAD! There's a mobster under my bed! Me: Aaw, cute. You mean monster? Son: No [from under the bed] "Whatcha gonna do 'bout it big guy?"
@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
@Sickayduh: I'm gonna strap a snowblower on my roof and start driving south. When someone asks me what it is, that's where I'm gonna live.