@MartinUrbano: When someone tells you that they cut their own hair, it's polite to act surprised
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@ibid78: "Pick a pencil. Look at it. Now put it back with the other pencils. Was your pencil the number 2?"-Steve, shitty pencil magician
@pixelatedboat: "Hey buddy, you wanna buy a harmonica?" I opened my coat and got hit by a gust of wind, making the worst sound in the world
@rickkondell: The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.