@iLikeCatShirts: When someone tries to tell me they can't do something, I'm like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
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@ArfMeasures: COP: So what happened? ME: He stole my watch & ran away down the road COP: Can you describe it? ME: It's like a big path that cars drive on
@QwertyJones3: I joined a poker tournament with a bunch of people who do origami. I'm gonna dominate, cause these guys always fold.
@williamwanton: Couples that stay fit together don't trust each other enough to go to the gym alone