@iLikeCatShirts: When someone tries to tell me they can't do something, I'm like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
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@QwertyJones3: [standing next to the boss at the urinal] Ok, don't act weird. "That's some impressive bladder volume, sir."
@SirEviscerate: "What would you say is your greatest weakness?" Probably my tendency to stalk and murder people who won't hire me.
@noog: Squirrels run around like they're being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job