@ventivodkacran: When someone yells "STOP!" I never know if it's Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen.
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@didifalldown: [God Creating] Lucifer: Make them wake up paralyzed sometimes G: That sounds horrible L: People will love it G: Hm, I trusted you on spiders
@WickedRapunzel: Customer: Can someone else serve us? Me:? C:I don't want my children exposed to the sin of your tattoos. M: Satan wants their tiny souls.
@deardilettante: At least there's one other woman who's more wasted than me in this emergency room. No, my mistake, she's got dementia.
@murrman5: can you start monday at 8? "yes, thank you for the opportunity" [calls new boss at his home on sunday night] hello? "am or pm?"