@sadmonsters: When Ted Cruz kisses a baby, its parents have to throw it out and start over.
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@AphroditeAfter5: Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
@MrEd_EVH: Ate a bowl of Captain Crunch Berries this morning. With blatant disregard for the roof of my mouth. -thug life
@bumble_weed: If a tree falls in the woods it usually tries to do that awkward jog to make it look like it didn't trip but hahahah it did. It totally did.