@Jason_Horton: When texting a girl "will you marry me" what's the best emoji to use?
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@CrazyUncIeJoe: I just saw a baby wearing a shirt saying: "Santa doesn't exist, but that's ok, cause I can't read."
@Reverend_Scott: "SOMEONE IS VAPING" 911: Stay calm, were tracing it "HURRY" 911: THE VAPING IS COMIN FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE "OMG" 911: GET OUT GET OUT
@CornOnTheGoblin: [bartender hands lady drink] courtesy of the gentleman down there [she takes a sip] is this - [me from the end of the bar] IT'S MILK