@Jason_Horton: When texting a girl "will you marry me" what's the best emoji to use?
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@jonnysun: *wakes up before alarm goes off* please be 5am please be 5am *checks time* 2:34pm, februrary 25, 2054. NOOOOOOOOO
@Prof_Hinkley: Friend: are you ready for our hike? Me: *filling my camelback with french onion soup* just about
@bighandsmassuer: People often ask me why I'm single and how surprised they are Then after speaking to me for 15 mins they say they can understand why I am