@Jason_Horton: When texting a girl "will you marry me" what's the best emoji to use?
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@INDlAN_: *lost in China* Friend: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Chinese with a local]: xian chan sēn F: well? Me: we’re in China
@sozjalltheway: Meanwhile on Facebook, Susan is doing a quiz, to find out what kind of sea monster, her Ex is.
@max_pad21: I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: "What do you do at a red light?" Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."