@Thedudish: When the cat sits on my head, my shadow looks like Batman.
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@Lakelandr: There's never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself " thank god the cops are here"
@IGotsSmarts: I wondered why everyone said I had "bed hair", until I looked in the mirror and noticed a tiny mattress on top of my head.
@DrDogMD: NURSE: *bursts into break room* A man just came to the ER with a broken bone thru his skin! DR DOG: *looks at other Drs* I'll take this one