@jwalkonthemoon: When the dryer buzzer scares you so bad you have to do another load of laundry.
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@MattMcC1: "Hey, people who cover their mouth when they laugh; noone is trying to steal your teeth", i hiss through my very normal amount of teeth.
@patsajak: Told my dog I was feeding him only natural, holistic food. Not sure he could hear me over slurping of water from toilet.
@markydoodoo: If you press this button, you will get a piece of cheesecake but one person on earth will die so- *me already pressing button* sorry, what?