@jwalkonthemoon: When the dryer buzzer scares you so bad you have to do another load of laundry.
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@vikkaroni: You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.
@Diversion50: "Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy.
@Just_Lee_: When I think of you, I touch myself. With my finger. In the back of my throat to help me vomit because you make me nauseous.