@WAYNES_O: When the mosquito landed on my face, it was one of the easier decisions of the day for my wife.
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@ehdannyboy: "I'm leaving you" "why?" "Your jokes are old and tiresome" "but, I can updog" "What's updog?" "NOTHIN, WHAT'S UP WI-" *slams door*
@SteussieErica: Parenting: 1st kid: Document their every move 2nd kid: forget to pick them up 99% of the time
@WilliamAder: Good Cop: If you confess now, you'll probably just get probation. Fad Cop: Hey Macarena!