@chris_isloi: When you give someone a present, unless you say "open it", they're legally not allowed to look inside.
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@_TeaChap: I went on a date last night!nIt went really well...up until the moment the couple realized I was following them & promptly called the cops.
@LurkAtHomeMom: The good news is, it turns out there is literally nothing we can say here that will ruin our chances at a political career.
@RainbowJohnJ: A man once asked me what autodefenestration meant. Avoiding the question, I jumped out a window.