@SloanPerry: when you push a pull door and the person behind says "you need to pull" aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom
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@RegularFred: [Enter your password] Secret [Password must be 6 characters] Secrete [Password disgusting but accepted]
@vineyille: "First off I want to wish my opponent the best of luck and oh god. OH GOD NO" - presidential candidate accidentally using their 3rd wish
@FoxCGrandpa: Reading my shopping list and finding "a shit ton of oats" clearly in goat handwriting again
@BradBroaddus: Got in a fight with the wife so I didn't let her sleep on the couch with me last night.