@markleggett: "When you wish upon a star, it takes trillions of years for the wish to get there, and by that stage you're dead." - Neil deGrasse Tyson.
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@BuckyIsotope: Vladimir Putin seems like the kind of guy who would fake a sneeze and flip the board over when he's losing at Risk.
@KeetPotato: "this has never happened before" is that a yes or no? "let me check" [talks into radio] "steve can we let a dog on the rollercoaster?"
@slyoung5: Have you ever noticed that Santa brings better gifts to the kids that have rich parents?