@catstronomical: Me: I've got a 12 pack in the fridge
Him: Toss me a cold one
*Lettuce and cheese fly everywhere as the taco hits him square in the chest*
@LipstickSpice: I'm getting married!
Well, I have a new boyfriend!
Okay, I have a date for tomorrow night!
FINE. Shoe salesman said "Come back soon".
@Ditchful: adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane
@NOTVIKING: [last day as head juror]
judge: how do you find the defendant
me: guilty
judge: and the full sentence?
me: oh sorry. we find the defendant guilty
@qwertying: A Little girl asked her father: Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time? Father: No, some begin with - If elected I promise..
COMMENTS