@notbedelia: When your wife says she needs a new broom it's best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
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@thatsuperdad: Stranger: Sir your fly is down... Me: Oh geez! Thanks. *Bends down and picks up fly* Me: He's had some wing issues lately
@Underchilde: Sometimes I put a “for sale” sign in my neighbor’s yard and pray the power of suggestion works.
@Cheeseboy22: I'll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.