@joshbupkes: when you're a kid you're like "how do actors cry so easily?" and when you grow up you're like "how is anyone ever not crying?"
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@AbbieEvansXO: Dark Lord: come join the dark side Me: I would never Dark Lord: the good side makes everyone go around in a circle and say something about themselves Me: I’m joining the dark side
@SortaBad: A $7 voucher at the airport is like having 100 skeeball tickets at Chuck E Cheese: it sounds good on paper but won't get you anything decent
@Rich_McCarthy: Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
@CornOnTheGoblin: "You promise you didn't get me bees again" [me from a distance] just open it