@joshbupkes: when you're a kid you're like "how do actors cry so easily?" and when you grow up you're like "how is anyone ever not crying?"
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@LuckoftheDraw86: So when is too soon to ask your friend if you can borrow their baby to reenact The Lion King? One day old? Two?
@Rollmaninoz: Caesar: friends, Romans countryman lend me your ear... [2 days later] *Caesar opens mailbox* "oh FFS Van Gogh IT'S A SAYING!!!!!'
@HorryPuttor: "Your password is weak" You're the weak one And you'll never know love Or friendship And I feel sorry for you
@Mostly_Cheese: [diner] Waitress: What’ll it be? Me: (doing connect-the-dots in the kids menu) A giraffe, I think.