@ReactionBeyonce: when you're about to get eaten by a shark but then u see bae watching
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife's online shopping downstairs so I'm upstairs logged on to the same site and deleting everything in her cart.
@shanethevein: Funny how bullies only bully people who are susceptible to bullying. They don't bully people who'd throat punch em without thinking twice.
@brianbowman73: Saw someone simultaneously walking while writing on a pad of paper. I yelled at them to text and drive like a normal person.
@SuperRandomish: "We're still looking for a side project" Tornado: *raises hand* we could flip houses "We've been over this, it's not what you think it is"