@ReactionBeyonce: when you're about to get eaten by a shark but then u see bae watching
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@BonaFideIntent: Me: LARGE FRY! McDonald's Manager: Ma'am, you can't use the drive-thru riding a stick pony. Please leave NOW Me: I WILL CUT YOU! *sirens*
@Bob_Heller: I have a dream that my son will one day live in a nation where he will not be judged by the size of his boat but by the motion of his ocean.
@ewfeez: If u want to get out of a conversation in public just say "I've gotta take this" then steal the nearest for-sale item and get arrested.
@cwhudson: [at a loud bar] HIM: [yelling] DO U HAVE ANY PLANS AFTER THIS? HER: [also yelling] YES I DO ACTUALLY HAVE PLANTS THAT I KISS