@007Pepe_Rex: When you're in the voting booth this fall, remember that Abe Lincoln didn't slay all those vampires so that Trump could become President.
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@TedOfficialPage: Everybody is tweeting "OMG I CANT BELIEVE ITS MARCH", I'm like tf' you you think came after February ? February Jr.?
@buttgh0st: COP: can anybody else describe the suspect? JOHN LENNON: he got feet down below his knees COP: anybody
@msmegmensa: A little drunk. Playing scrabble with my cat. Not sure who's winning cause he's eaten most of his tiles.
@onedumbshark: My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away.