@007Pepe_Rex: When you're in the voting booth this fall, remember that Abe Lincoln didn't slay all those vampires so that Trump could become President.
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@KevinFarzad: Language is cool because it's just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
@Tmoney68: This baby at McDonalds may have started the screaming competition, but I guarantee I'm going to win it.
@Prof_BrianCocks: "14 years, £20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope." "You mean Collider?" "Oh shit!"
@salamingia: Hi, is your resort child friendly? Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation? *hangs up