@Rollinintheseat: When you're talking to someone with no teeth, you find out teeth are also a retaining wall for spit.
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@Bagyants: When a computer program says "Not Responding" I start texting it stuff like "Who are you with?" and "Just heard our song"
@myles_morrison: The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was