@Home_Halfway: Whenever anyone asks me where I grew up I point to a random spot in the room and say "Over there."
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@ImSoFrancis: BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered what may be the worlds largest bed sheet. More on that as it unfolds.
@ThatRascalPuff: Gramps: *on deathbed* I feel like Im forgetting someth- *dies* [2 yrs later] Me: *knocking water outta my ears* *quarter falls out*
@jtswhipped: I saw a woman with a lower back tattoo that said "Classy" and my brain leaked out of my ear.