@TheBeerGuy73: Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law.
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@Donna_McCoy: Sorry, I can't be around you today. The temptation to smack you in the face is just too great.
@jwoodham: "How dare you accuse us of cheating?" said the Patriots, struggling to get a jersey on the giant robot tiger that Katy Perry rode in on.
@sirivan: There’s no problem you can’t solve with a great night of dancing. Except for a broken foot. Then you should see a doctor.
@cjwerleman: Boy, ISIS are going to be pissed when they find out New Atheists talk about God more than them.