@rolldiggity: Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
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@ericsshadow: [talking to life insurance agent] Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money? No thanks.
@imadepoopstoday: Walk up to someone drinking coffee and ask them if their coffee tastes different today. Then smile and walk away.
@mrsmith196645: I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly.